B&Bs and Hotels in Belfast

Good Hotel Guide

Hostels and Hotels in Belfast

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Antrim, Armagh, Augher, Aughnacloy, Ballycastle, Ballyclare, Ballymena, Ballymoney, Ballynahinch, Banbridge, Bangor, Belfast, Bushmills, Caledon, Carrickfergus, Castlederg, Castlewellan, Chapeltown, Clogher, Coleraine, Cookstown, Craigavon, Crumlin, Donaghadee, Downpatrick, Dromore, Dungannon, Enniskillen, Fivemiletown, Hillsborough, Holywood, Larne, Limavady, Lisburn, Londonderry, Lurgan, Maghera, Magherafelt, Moira, Newcastle, Newry, Newtownabbey, Newtownards, Omagh, Portadown, Portrush, Portstewart, Strabane

For UK travelers going abroad, we recommend Tenerife, with feel of the UK yet all the sun of Tenerife. Read an extract below from More Ketchup than Salsa, the story of a English couple who left the UK to set up life in Tenerife. Info on how to buy the book can be found below.

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Below you will find short extracts from More ketchup than Salsa by Joe Cawley – not to be missed.

Short Extract

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On a campsite in southern France, fuelled by too much alcohol and exposure to naked flesh, intimacy was inevitable. The holiday romance continued after we returned home and still did three years later inside a dingy pub in Bolton. How do you fancy moving to Tenerife?’ Joy peered over the rim of her glass. Her eyes searched mine. Uh why?’ We’ve been offered the chance to run a bar, only it needs two couples to run it, so I said I was married.’

Thankfully, in the absence of webbed obstacles, I managed to cast my line without any immediate threat to Joy, Frank or myself. The bright floats played peacefully on the surface of the ocean while Frank and I watched them like protective parents. Joy had already lost interest in her line and had reclined as much as Frank’s boat would allow. The sky was an unblemished canvas of vivid blue, reflecting its glory in the vast ocean. Suddenly my reel began whirring. ‘Got one, you bastard,’ Frank shouted. He put down his rod and turned his attention to mine. ‘Give it a jerk and start reeling it in,’ he said. The fish didn’t put up much of a fight, presumably saving its energy for face-to-face combat. It broke the surface a couple of metres from the boat. I lifted the line and it swung in towards Frank’s face, missing by inches. Now, don’t believe every rubber-suited wet-head who boasts of the unspoilt beauty that lies beneath the waves. There are some damn ugly creatures living down there. I’m not saying that the undersea world doesn’t have its fair share of fetching characters. The unjustly named Bastard Grunt has a certain cutesy appeal with its delicate shade of pink while large gangs of Turkish wrasse with Day-Glo blue decorate the water like hand-painted ornaments. But let’s face it, sea cucumbers, weever fish and moray eels are not going to win any underwater beauty pageants. These unsightly monsters understandably spend much of their time hiding their afflictions in dark caves or camouflaged against the seabed until some scuba diver starts adding to their misery with a spear gun. It’s the downright hideous that elicit most gasps and I had one of their brethren dangling by the lip. Back on the market this was not a fish that would have sold at three for a fiver, even ten for a fiver. Its brown and white body was mottled with a profusion of tiny warts and its dorsal fin was clearly designed to be left alone by the sensible.

From what we could gather, day one would involve learning about what we could and couldn’t do in catering via a slide show, lectures and reading material. Day two would be concerned with seeing how much of it we had absorbed by means of a multiple-choice questionnaire. The lights dimmed and the slide show commenced. Pictures of pans, chopping boards, cats struck with large red crosses, and various examples of fire extinguishers slid before our eyes as the young man in charge explained the relevance of each and answered questions from the Canarian contingency. It became quickly apparent that no English was going to be spoken that day and the Brits looked at each other as we realised the maximum we could contribute was our attendance. After a short break for lunch, we resumed. Within minutes, a pack of cards was produced and whist broke out at the back. For three more hours occasional glances were thrown at pictures of cattle and cauliflowers projected onto the front wall.