B&Bs and Hotels in Nottingham

Good Hotel Guide

Hostels and Hotels in Nottingham

If you have a hotel in any of these locations then please contact us to list your hotel below, free of charge.

Arnold, Bramcote, Calverton, Carlton, Gotham, Heanor, Ilkeston, Lambley, Long Eaton, Lowdham, Mansfield, Nottingham, Oxton, Radcliffe On Trent, West Bridgeford

For UK travelers going abroad, we recommend Tenerife, with feel of the UK yet all the sun of Tenerife. Read an extract below from More Ketchup than Salsa, the story of a English couple who left the UK to set up life in Tenerife. Info on how to buy the book can be found below.

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Below you will find short extracts from More ketchup than Salsa by Joe Cawley – not to be missed.

Short Extract

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The appointment was at 4p.m., which gave us just enough time after finishing our morning shift to move our belongings from the studio into Terry’s house, next to the mafia. It was a two-bedroom apartment at the bottom of El Beril near the sea, one of the few homes on the complex that had an upstairs and downstairs plus a small lawn in front. Compared to the studio we had been boiled in for the last week, it was cool luxury. Terry informed us that we could have it for as long as we wanted as he had bought another place for himself and his wife. We took a little time to arrange our home, taking great pride in spreading our meagre possessions as widely as we could. In Julie’s office a ceiling fan stirred the pages of the local English language newspaper. The dour expression of a local politician flipped over to reveal a smug tourist posing alongside an enormous blue marlin on the next page. I wondered if Pat had tried this magnificent fish as an attention-grabber on the market. As Joy and I sat and waited for Julie, I thought about what would be going on at the market at this time. It would be the final few minutes of trading time and for those shoppers in the know, the time when all the bargains could be had. In a desperate attempt to eke out a few more sales, Pat would take to the front of the stall himself, bellowing his final offers. ‘Five trays for a fiver. That’s a freezer-full of Fleetwood’s finest for just a tenner. Try saying that when you’ve had a shandy, love,’ he’d wink. Even with such discounts, the wily shoppers who hung back until the last moment knew that for the stallholders, it was a time when any sale was better than none.

Arnold, Bramcote, Calverton, Carlton, Gotham, Heanor, Ilkeston, Lambley, Long Eaton, Lowdham, Mansfield, Nottingham, Oxton, Radcliffe On Trent, West Bridgeford

To own your own pub is a pipedream for many British men. To have that pub in a sunny climate just adds to the attraction. But the majority who fulfil that dream in a resort destination like Tenerife return home to the UK with their vision in tatters, having acquired a lighter pocket, an alcoholic addiction and, if they went with their partner, a severely strained relationship. In Las Américas, whole streets are dedicated to George and Dragons, Red Lions, White Horses and other British-themed pubs and they all compete for the same custom. Few have anything new to offer, most relying on the lure of David Jason, John Cleese and Jeremy Beadle reruns or pints of beer at five pesetas less than the bar next door. Although competition helps shave the price of beer down to the bare minimum for the customers, it also means that corners are cut to make up for the narrower profit margins. Soft drinks would be of the lowest quality, the calibre of food served somewhere between barely fit for consumption and adequate pet food. More often than not, the focus would be switched from efforts to attract more clientele to plans to stay one step ahead of the bar next door, even if those extra drinkers were adding to the workload but not the profit. ‘Two drinks for the price of one’ would be countered with ‘Three drinks for the price of one’ or ‘Free drinks for the kids’. This invariably resulted in not only a cut in income for the neighbour, but also a drop in profit for the instigating bar.

The most annoying nights were when only one or two tables remained at a relatively decent hour i.e. before 1a.m. Thoughts of an early night would prevail, especially if all remaining tables ordered the bill before midnight. It was hard to resist breathing a sigh of relief and start visualising fleecy bedsheets. But, as Murphy would have it, the plot would always change. Just as the last people were bidding their goodnights, after the floor had been mopped and all the tables cleaned, a taxi-full of young revellers who had been turned out of a club in Las Américas would shatter the calm and crash into the bar like a herd of rabid cattle. Having slowed to almost a standstill, trying to shift from first to fifth gear in one go required a major effort, both mentally and physically. We’d smile, we’d serve, and we’d even laugh at their drunken banter. Tonight’s idiots could be tomorrow’s breakfast crowd and, having been rebuffed by the nightlife downtown, there was also the possibility that they would choose to dump their entire binge budget in our till if we pushed the right buttons. This involved much more than jolly smiles and chirpy banter, however. Picking diced carrot out of the bathroom plugholes was a real delight, especially after we’d already cleaned the bathrooms ready for the morning. Oh, how we would chuckle at that little jape, coming as it did at the end of a 13-hour shift! We also had to persuade latecomers that high decibel renditions of ‘I’m too sexy for my shirt’ were not a particularly good idea at 1a.m., especially as they’d normally be followed by a visit from the local constabulary with threats of arrest and deportation for them, and a stern warning from the community president for us. But to be truthful most of our efforts would be focused on getting them out, our persuasion based on the theory that if they didn’t let us close, we wouldn’t be able to open again for breakfast. If you’ve ever tried to have a serious discussion with a group of radically inebriated youngsters whereby the main aim is to convince them to give up their drinks, you’ll understand that it’s something of a an uphill battle.